After I created a first draft and have had multiple people peer review my paper I begin my revision process. For me the best way to revise is by breaking apart my paper into paragraphs allowing myself to focus on each individual component of my essay. In my first draft my introduction paragraph started with a minimal description of my essay and no hook that really captured the readers attention. After reading peer’s suggestions I had thought of different ways to include a quote in my introduction paragraph and found another way to create a text-to-text and text-to-world connection that I decided to include in my final draft. This is seen with the opening quote aimed to hook the reader and the reference to Robert Frost’s popular poem that helps create other connections within the reader. Another area where I needed a large global revision was my conclusion paragraph. In my first draft the conclusion paragraph was short and repeated my thesis, providing no new insights or thoughts for the reader. In my revisions I made sure to focus on developing a strong conclusion that ends my paper on a note of further thought, introducing a new and not mentioned idea and concept. As you can see my conclusion in my final draft is very different than how it started. It presents a new idea and leaves the reader thinking of my argument in a new way.
In my first draft I did not develop my argument and own definition of metaphors enough, and went straight into the argumentative paragraphs. In my final draft I decided to include a paragraph preceding my introduction that starts to develop my argument on a more specific level and gives the reader necessary context to be able to really understand my argument. These two global revisions shows my ability to be able to identify what my paper is lacking and shows I can put myself in my readers shoes to figure out if they can understand my argument.
You can also see in my first and final draft there are small and minor differences among local revisions such as comas, formatting of citations, and a works cited page. My ability of being able to change and make local revisions shows my understanding of MLA format and basic writing rules regarding punctuation and sentence formation. In the revision process I have shown and described I have shown my ability to approach writing as a recursive process, that there is a need for multiple drafts, organization of my writing, the ability to both locally and globally revise, and have done so in a successful manner. I believe I have demonstrated my completion of Learning Outcome 1.
